You Can’t Test Drive a Dildo

Adult stores, either retail or online are filled with dildos of all sizes, shapes, colors and protrusions. With vibe, without vibe, remote control, wireless controls as well with varied surfaces and textured covers designed to enhance the sensation. Some are even complete systems with accessories and lubes, to enhance and stimulate.

A dildo is a sex toy in a phallic shape and intended as a masturbation tool for penetration either vaginally or anally. Though a quick look at the dildo wall at your local sex store, it is easy to wonder how or why one would insert some of these instruments of pleasure. Some look harmless and straight-forward, others look like something from an alien planet whose intended use may make you wonder.

So you are in store, you want to have a toy but what is good and what is not? Many of these toys are presented in clear packaging, allowing you to see it in all its glory. When looking at the hard plastic toys, look for seams and if it is a battery operated toy make sure the battery compartment access is as far down the base as possible. Seams or rough edges are dangerous and can injure you if used internally. Also consider the size. You are the best person to know what is a good fit for you.

If the product features a silicone or textured surface, read the packaging! Make sure if you can that the surface is condom safe, lube safe and if possible made of a medical grade silicone. Always consider using a condom to sheath any sex toy used in penetration for safety and hygiene reasons. Recently entering the market are the glass dildos. If considering one of these for more than ornate value, again look for seams or rough edges and make sure they are solid! Glass dildos are heavy and have a very hard feel but are easy to clean and maintain.

Before we continue, I want to quickly talk about toy maintenance. When using dildo for penetration, always consider using a condom. This will help protect you from any surface imperfections and if a battery operated device, this will help protect from fluids getting into the battery compartment. Always wash your toy in warm water and use a mild soap or better – a product called Safe Suds (see Stock Room to purchase in the right sidebar) to ensure your toy is clean and bacteria free. Dry thoroughly and store in a cloth bag. Many ladies have told me the best storage cover is a sock – because it is soft and air permeable.
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You have a big budget and are considering a dildo with a vibe, what is good and what is not? Much has been written about the “jackrabbit” vibe. A mechanical dildo that vibrates as well twists and moves. This is accomplished by having a slightly curved shape and a second motor slowly turning in its base. In addition, this instrument of pleasure has beads in its shaft, which also turn and vibe. The idea is to create as many sensations as possible. In addition it features variable vibe speeds and a remote control. Cool! The problem is that good things are always copied and you will find many of the same toys simply repackaged and branded under different names. The key in deciding if the version you have is of good quality, look at the covering sheath, it should be a single thick uniform cover of medical grade silicone and safe for use with latex condoms, and oil and silicone based lubes.

The biggest problem with all these toys is that they look cool and have all these features and are promoted by porn stars, even labeled under porn star brands and come with testimonials, which can entice you to buy. In the end, it seems most women agree that despite all the variations, the only thing they notice is the girth, the strength of the vibe, the type of vibration and if the shaft twists and moves. So now what? Most of the “look” is designed to impress you.

When you find a dildo that you like, bring it to the counter and ask to see it. You will find that most quality adult store will have a product sample or will open the packaging to let you to see and inspect it. If the dildo, meets your requirements and if it does have a vibe, ask the sales person to put batteries in the unit to ensure the vibes work properly – exchanges and returns are difficult and most vibes carry no warranty.

Buying sex toys, for the most part, is an exercise in “buyer beware”. All the look, features and accessories may be cool but you may find they make little difference. Test piloting is expensive because of the no return policies, but it can be fun. If you have test piloted a sex toy – share your experience with us so we can share your review.