Erotic Spankings…

I recently posed this question to some of my kinkier lady friends, “Why do you enjoy spankings as part of your foreplay?” I got many answers from them, but this answer seemed to sum up all of what these ladies were telling me…

 

spanked
“why i like spankings… well they turn me on, for me the pain is pleasure, it is a type of foreplay… i really like the whole ritual of spankings, for me it is very erotic very much the start of the turn on… it brings blood rushing to the surface leaving my skin more sensitive and responsive to other touches… it is the release of endorphins that eventually leave a calming and relaxed feeling… yes spanking hurt a lot but it seems the more i get, the more i want…it is also about the feelings, naughty girls get spanked… it is a mixture of being ashamed about having my bottom spanked and guilt if i actual did something bad; then the feeling of submission for knowing that even though at that moment i want relief of it stopping it isn’t my choice how many swats i get or what tool/toy is being used… then when it is over there is generally the gentle caresses and soothing effect of having my hot bottom rubbed (or feeling of forgiveness if bad)… sometimes i cry with them which allows for a whole different release of stresses and emotions needing to be released a type of cleansing… so with the mixture of all the feeling and the endorphins leave me with a very comforting high…”

 

I went further and researched online by googling “why women like spankings?” Hundreds of spanking sites came up all explaining part of what my friend told me… From reviewing many of the sites, I have come to the conclusion that simply put, erotic spankings are great foreplay and can really set the mood for role play or for fetish. As much as it is physical stimulation, it provides mental stimulation and can be the basis or the start of a very hot and erotic playtime…. I will review more sites and interviews and update this story soon.

An interesting spanking site: wwww.spanking.com

Fetish, Kink, what is this?

The word fetish in terms of sex can be broadly explained as “objects and or practice which are integral to enhance the sexual experience”. What is truly fascinating is the diversity of preferences, props and practices people choose to include in their sex play. What is also interesting is how some peoples choices drives the fantasies of others.

 

Sex is physical, but the sexual experience is driven by emotion and imagination and that experience can be defined through preferences, props and practice, things that define as fetish. For those outside the experience, they define it in more pop cultural terms – which helps to enhance the perception of fetish sex. Terms like “different, dirty, taboo, freaky” or the ultimate catch all “kinky”, make someone’s sex play much more dramatic. Particularly if they for the first time, have the opportunity to experience, their arousal is heighten by the expectation and the thought of doing something “kinky”.

 

Much of this becomes a matter of relativity. What I like and do with my sexual playmates is different than what you like and do. So relative to each other, we are both kinky. Now, for the most part as people are more willing to express and experience more openly, their sexual desires, things such as bondage, spankings, S&M, Dominance and submission, exhibitionism, voyeurism etc. Once the stuff of dark desires and fantasy, they are more mainstream. Many more people are realizing that “yes, I can experience my fantasies and they are normal and there are others that want to experience those same things with me”.

 

As we mature, we realize and accept our own sexuality and embrace our own desires and we find we are more accepting of others and their sexuality. In general we become more enlightened and embolden to truly enjoy our sex so, “get your freak on! And get kinky with your playmate!

Pain can be Pleasurable

Sexuality, our sexual experience is a complex dynamic of physical, emotional and psychological experiences which is context driven. Simply, we define these three things in ways that fit the situation. If we are experiencing these in an undesirable way – the experience could be defined as negative or even traumatic. If the situation is experienced in a desirable way it could be defined are pleasurable or erotic.

Let us quickly define these three aspects of sexuality. First consider the physical experience. There is much that drives this in terms of physiology, but for this discussion, let us simply understand and focus on the fact that physical stimulation creates sensations which, for the most part is the foundation of sex. Simply, a certain amount of stimulation, over a period of time in part causes arousal and then finally orgasm.

The emotional part of this trinity is what gives us “spark” to the moment. Mental stimulation creates desire, helping to kick start the physical arousal, and enhances the physical stimulation, heightening physical arousal which can ultimately bring about orgasm. Think of it as the nitro-boost to the physical sex.

The psychological aspect is what gives us the over all context of our sexual experiences. This combines the physical and emotional aspects, and adds the memories of past experiences both sexual and non-sexual, imagery, the things we learn and the things we want to experience into what we associate with sexual pleasure. For example, things like imagery and fetish create the context for the physical sensations and emotional feelings helping us to define what is or was an erotic sexual situation.

Pain and pleasure are really two ends of a spectrum of sensation. Consider, a light patting on the bottom has a pleasant sensation, increase the intensity and that patting becomes a spanking, increase it more and it becomes a beating. A funny thing happens here. Where do you draw the line where one thing becomes another? Also, as we become more aroused, our own experience changes, first because our bodies respond with wonderful chemicals such as endorphins and adrenaline. If you then consider the emotions occurring at the time and put in a psychological context, the discomfort or pain caused by the spanking becomes defined as something sensual and erotic in that moment for that person.

From my own experience, many things some people would consider as being not sensual, others under specific situations find although physically discomforting, being very sensual. In fact triggering a higher sense of emotional and psychological arousal while being experienced. Have you ever wondered why people like crazy spicy hot foods? It is not for the taste but more for the release of endorphins.

This brings me to the point – sensual is a conditioned response. As we gain more sexual experience, we start to enjoy more intense stimulation. Sensations from things, like spankings, floggings and restraint to name a few, through association and experience, become part of our sexual repertoire and part of the pleasures we enjoy sexually – we begin to through learned response find that pain can be pleasurable. In future articles in the Fetish category, I will discuss in more detail specific fetishes and sensual torments, as well include excerpts from people interviewed who enjoy them and try to relate their thoughts on these experiences and sensations.

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