Online dating sites have become the easiest way to meet “like minded” partners for more intimate indulgences. Sites are unique and cater to specific interests. From sites that cater to Christians or other religious, ethnic or social interest, to sites that are gay and lesbian specific sites and even fetish or kink specific.
These sites offer a wide variety and usually a large number of potential connections in a safe discreet way that is very non-threatening emotionally for most to initiate contact with someone. This is where potential danger lies. Profiles are often slightly “embellished” to help make profiles more interesting to increase the potential number of interested people. Without the normal social cues people rely on in non-cyber first contact, there are no clues to the actual person, simply the profile that you read. This makes it easy to make contact and create an initial connection. There is no perfect system to protect you from the undesirable stalking creeper, but there are some strategies to help protect you, and minimize the effects of a bad connection.
If you are planning to go online to find “like minded” people to share in your indulgences you should consider the following things. First, create a disposable email mail account using one of the many free services online – never give your personal email out to online connections especially when simply chatting or flirting. Second, consider getting a prepaid or disposable phone. Today many people love to text message and often when you meet your first online fling, it is fun to connect and get to know them using text messaging. To protect your identity, save you from embarrassing calls and the headache of changing your number then, updating friends and family, use a prepaid cell phone and not your personal number. Finally, consider using a prepaid credit card and not your actual credit card.
Now you are ready to start your online adventure. There is no perfect online dating site, there are well established sites, special interest sites and sites that can be a credit card subscription headache. Before you take out that credit card and sign up on that first site, consider what you are looking for then check out that site. First, simply review the site, look it over and most important, look over the subscription details, which payment processor is used and their privacy agreement. These three things will give you an indication of both legitimacy and reputability of the site. Finally do a Google review on the site. Google for reviews, comments and complaints, then make your decision.
Ok, so you’ve decided on a particular site and sign up. Use your prepaid credit card and sign up for the trial or one month term and try the site out. If you like it after the month, perfect, if not move on. Now, creating your profile. Yes, pictures of you on your profile will get more attention. Consider though, friends, colleagues and family may also be using that site, so all you would be exhibitionists, be aware. Also consider, any posted image can easily take a life on their own online, with people copying the image and re-posting it on other sites.
I recommend when creating a profile picture, use what you feel is appropriate for the site and the people you hope to attract, but blur out your face and have tasteful private pictures that you can share with new connections. When writing your profile, be honest in what you are looking for and your likes and dislikes. The rest is up to you. Remember though, if you intend to meet people, the worst thing you could do is to describe yourself unrealistically so that meetings may be awkward or embarrassing.
Now you have made your first connection. Take time to get to know the person using email, online chat, text messaging or even a call (using your disposable cell). Remember, you control the connection, never feel pressured into meeting someone. That is the number one warning signal. After some time, when you feel comfortable and wanting, go ahead and meet that person. Consider the following advice though.
The first meeting should always be done in a neutral public place. I strongly recommend the food court in a mall you do not usually go to. This could help minimize accidental contact if the person does not work out for you. Before you go, let someone you know and trust, know where you are going. I recommend a buddy system where that person calls you after an hour to check up on you. That call can also be your exit cue to end an awkward date. After your first “date”, I would recommend at least one more and continued conversation in between, to help you get a read on the person. From this point, everything is up to you as you should have an idea of this person and if you are compatible with them. Take your time and let them earn your trust. A relationship is built over time and if they are a genuine person they will understand – even if the intention is a simple hook-up. Remember, play safe, have fun and never let yourself be pressured into anything you do not want!